How To Divide Household Chores Without Killing Each Other

how to divide household chores

Let’s all say it together: marriage isnt easy and housework really sucks. Housework can raise the stress factor in your marriage, but only when you let it. If you poll wives about some of their biggest sources of stress: housework and feeling like it all falls on them is on the top of the list. Even though many wives work outside of the home, we still tend to do most of the housework.  Worrying about housework feels like a never ending struggle when you’re chasing after 2 toddlers, work outside of the home and run a business. Sometimes I find motivation in purchasing new products that make clean up easier, like the Dish Fish sponge.


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how to divide household chores in marriage

How To Divide Household Chores:

Get Stuff Done Without Killing Each Other


All of us enter marriage with a preconceived notion of how your household should be run. This can be shaped by life experiences or even what we see in the media. The way we divide household chores in marriage has to get updated with the times. When done right, sharing household responsibilities can help improve happiness in the marriage and these 4 strategies may surprise you. Chores have to happen; so anticipate the roadblock and plan accordingly


Doesn’t have to be 50/50 split

Sometimes, the issue isn’t even the chore, but how it’s split up that can become the problem. Trying to keep housework as even as possible can lead to headaches. With 2 working parents, not everything may work out equally and that’s ok. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in marriage is that sometimes we have to be strong where our partner is weak.

My Tactic: Sometimes I forget to take the laundry out of the dryer, my husband takes it upon himself to take it out and fold it. No huff or puff. Instead of completing each other’s sentences we complete each others chores at times.


Honor thy spouse

Remember your husband is not your toddler. Do not try to order him around. Instead of nagging, bring attention to what chores need addressing, with a calm and positive attitude. Communicating properly doesn’t mean that they person will end up doing exactly what you say but making sure that each party feels heard and understood (without defensiveness and frustration) is the goal. Long term results outweigh negativity and resentment. COmpleting housework can be a sign of love, hear me out. 1 of Gary Chapman’s 5 love languages is acts of service. When thinking about how to change your spouse, the greatest advice is starting with yourself and showing them what you need by acts vs complaining.


My Tactic: Taking up the attitude of serving your partner can help change your view on chores.

How to divide household chores

Don’t Seek Recognition

This is one of my own convictions. It feels good to receive praise when you do something right, even if it’s your job to do it. However, completing housework is not a competition and no one will give you a trophy when you’re finished (although that would be awesome). However, you’re still on a team that’s been God ordained. Our home is our sanctuary and our safe place. If we want God to bless us with more, we should do the best we can with what we already have.


My Tactic: When my husband is working out of town it’s easier to get overwhelmed by chores. I try to maintain the best I can and give myself grace for the rest.

Check out our post on: Maintaining Communication in Marriage

Build Up Your Strengths And Weaknesses


If both husband and wife detest the same chore then make a list of chores you both hate and discuss to see if it’s really hate or can one of you tolerate the chore enough to place it on your to do list. I can’t stand washing dishes, but because of the hate I have for a pile of dirty dishes, I try my best to make it as bearable as possible. If I’m not using my Dish Fish dual scrubber to clean them by hand, I give them a quick rinse and have the dishwasher do the dirty work.


My Tactic:  Playful wagers with my husband where the loser completes the undesirable chore.

how to divide household chores

I may have lost this bet, but there will be more


I’ll be honest, housework is the last thing I want to do when I find some free time. Dividing household chores doesn’t have to all get done by either one of you. If all else fails when it comes to managing chores, alleviate some of the pressure by hiring out for a deep cleaning 1-2 times a month.

How To Divide Household Chores Without Killing Each Other

How To Divide Household Chores Without Killing Each Other

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